And while that's what you want and need right now (and that's okay), I'm really not that cool of a girl. You not talking to me for days at a time really, really hurts. and after 2 and a half months i feel like if you liked me, like really liked me, you would be wanting to talk to me all the time, just how i want to talk to you all the time, but hold myself back because i know that's not what you want. But i don't feel close to you, you are not the first person i'd call in a problem, to confide in. after only 2.5 months should you be?

is my timeline confused, or do you really not like me very much. I am lost. But i remember what love, real love feels like. and its a feeling of warmth and "homeness" and it can be overwhelming and secure and it can be boring. bu this is not it. will this grow into that, will you give it a chance?

will you always keep me at arms length? is this just a stage, how you are at first? I just don't know what to do. I think maybe, we're just not on the same page. I know you're still in love with her, and you can't let go of that. and of course, that's okay too. But its also unfair to me.

i don't know what to do. or how to feel. i'm going crazy. am i being crazy for wanting/expecting more after such a short time. and why am i such a coward and never actually bring this up to you? it spins in my head often, yet i can never get the guts to bring it up to you. It will shatter the illusion of what a laid back person i am, the only thing i think you really like about me. but if thats all you like about me, should i really be with you?

fuck. dating sucks.