my dad and I had decided to watch tomb raider together tonight, and as bad as a movie it may have been, it was not pointless. it was actually perfect for the uh, perdiciment im in. (check last entry. the movie was about Lara croft and how her father had died. and that she was willing to risk the exsistance of all that is good just to see her father one more time. to gain back the time stolen from them. All she wanted was to have him back. so as we were watching it i told my dad, "Dad I love you. I would do anything for you, and you mean so much to me. I would do just what lara croft was doing, i would do anything to spend more time with you if you were ever gone." then it just kinda slipped out. i muttered "Daddy, please don't die." he's unaware that i know what he's considering and he also made a slip up. his reply was "Don't worry i won't... Oh i mean i will one day, just like everyone else". and honestly i found so much comfort in that. one day, one day seems so far away. i think he's going to be okay. i didn't think he could be that selfish. i'm still worried. because what if one day isn't so far away. when he said he wouldn't die... when he siad that, did he say he wouldn't do 'it'? God i hope so.what if i misunderstood what he said? maybe he was lying to protect me, so i wouldn't be suspicious? and i told my brother j i had something to tell him. now i dont know if i will. So thank God we rented Tomb Raider, it was just coincidence who knew it would help me out so much. God works in mysterious ways.

p.s.

another thanks to the l.bug for helping me with um... another problem i was having. heh.