And at the saem time I feel like i'm falling towards this impending doom of failing school. My parents have told me that it's very possible that I will, and that this is my one chance, and to not fuck it up. Yeah, thansk alog guys, so encouraging, really.

And. It's driving me crazy, that every time i hear a song that remind me of a Josh, it drives me crazy. Things have...gone to crap. We will never be friend's like we once were. it's so blatantly obvious. He always told me how he's lost so many people, and lost so many friends. And i know why now. Well, I always knew why, but now its oh-so obvious. When it starts to get hard he gives up, fast. He just lays it all down and walks away. Lazily, and slowly, occasionly looking back, but in the end, he fucking walks. And I see him walking away from me. and talking to him is akward and weird. We used to talk every day, now...it's just bleh. He talks to his friends about me, abuot twenty more times more than he talks to me. I wish i knew what he was saying,and what he was feeling, I wish i knew how to make it better...