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It's never right.
2004-12-02

What am I supposed to do? The boy..the boy. I pushed him to the side, now I�m trying to pull him back to the center. It just makes things worse. It just makes things harder, things will never be...because they can�t. I know this. He knows this. I�ve wandered. I�ve looked at other boys, I�ve obsessed over other boys. Yet still, every time the name of another girl rolls off his tongue; I cringe. And every time he tells me how much its all a mistake, how were supposed to be together; I cringe. And I want him to go away. and then i take it all back. and i cry, how he's not close enough. It�s never right. He and this relationship, are never right. I am never right. And its all so sickening somehow.

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