I won't stand for it. I can't handel that kind of hurt. I can't handel this kind of hurt. I'm afraid you think that I refuse to talk to you, and "turned my back" (as your best friend put it) to hurt you. Petty and weak i may be, but not that petty nor that weak. I can't talk to you because it hurts too bad. Because every time i think of you, i only think of her. Where you've been...it disgusts me. It completley and utterly and wholly disgusts me. The fact that i gave myself to you and no other, and now that where you have been, it makes me cringe. You think its fucking walk in the park to walk away? Think again.

Somehow, I still think of you in my troubled sleep. Sleep - the action that has always been my escape of choice. though, it's so inconsistent. Because though you may forget for a short while, when you wake up... it's still there. you're still there. your actions still happend, and hang in my face. then i'm left.as i toss and turn and hope to god i don't wake up any time soon. I'm left with the painfull stinging to lull me back to sleep. the same stining, the same un bearable pain that put me there in the first place. the one that made me long to do nothing but be lost in darkness and un-consioussness. I wake up with wet cheeks and a dry heart. you haunt me, even in my one paradise. my escape. my sleep.

Let them say what they want. Let them tell you that if I re-acted this way I was never worth it in the first place. Believe them, tell yourself that now, are such better days. That I never was worth it, I'm just cruel. Your the victim, I'm the predator, you were just simply the pray. Whatever helps you sleep at night. At least i will know, one of us will be. even if its to lies.

The only thing i take back..is saying that I hated you. I don't. I wish to God I could. But I can't...

And if you ask "how could she be so selfish?" I must ask, how could you have been so selfish?

You didn't and don't care, and I know it. What empty words and heavy lies. You are so gross to me.

I truely hope that you are happy. This is my goodbye to you, for now. I told you I don't know how long it will be, till i can think of you and not think such petty thoughts. and feel such angry feelings. I can't tell you how long it will be until i can shove them down into my stomach and they are only a slight tinge, until then, i bid you adieu.

you. you are completey shameless.