I've been reading it for a long time, and it never fails to amaze me. It's a collection of post-cards people send in, decorated with their deepest secrets.

the whole concept fascinates me...it's the kind of secrets people can barely admit to themselves. It gives them a channel to anonomously and artistically come to terms with- and share their (not always but usually) darkest, and definetly deepest secrets.

but the weird part, is you see the same re-occuring themes. it gives you an idea of what people's biggest regrets are. and many of the people are older and have been through more of their life...what sticks with you throughout your life? What do people refuse to let go of and refuse not to regret? It makes me wonder what will i regret the most about my life? about life in general?

Almost of all the post-cards have to do with abuse, love, or enjoyment through other's pain-- of all kinds and in all senses.

i was shocked to see the amount of people that were willing to settle-- or had settled in the area of love. So many people seem to be with someone that they don't love as much as someone their not with. And that scares me. Because sometimes i think that i lost the love of my life. and in a way-- i know i have. and i know thats bold to say. he was only my first bf, and i am only 19. but i can't help but feel that way. and whitnessing these peoples confessions of unhappiness and feelings of horror, i feel almost as if i'd rather be alone forever, than settle for someone or something that isn't what it should be. or what he was.

and then. its obvious many people share a common fear. of being alone forever, where settling becomes a viable option. and a way of life. and i guess that is a part of my life. is it naive of me to never want to settle? to think i should never have to?

maybe that's part of why i've been alone..for so long.