My life at home will be quiet differnt now. I have 2 weeks left of this year of school, and i move back home for the summer.

But, my Grandparents have also moved in. And it's become some kind of mad house in there. my mom begs an acloholic not to drink for a day, foolishly. it will only anger him more. make him yell, more. make him go through more effort, but he will get his hands on that alcohol, even if it kills him. and with his new medications (which is why my mom wanted him to not drink any..just for a day) it very well could. but he doesn't care.

if nothing else, the source of the passive-agressiveness inherint in our personalities has become very clear.

also. my grandma doesn't like to feel useless. who can blame her? so my mom said she would have her help count some cash from my moms store. so she counts, and counts and counts. for hours and tediously so. and happily so. little does she know, she's been counting the same box of cash, for the last 2 weeks. and she has no clue.

I do love my grandparents, i guess it's just hard to watch. they were once such capable people. age has undone one, and alcohol is slowly deafeting the other. or alleady has. he would rather die then go a day without his 2$ wine.

and they regress. it and it slowly breaks all of us as we watch, and we want to help. my mom got them some kind of memory pills, but they never remeber to take them. my mom has become very diligent and almost militant in taking care of them, i think my grandpa is starting to resent her for it. but she's only being the only way she knows to be. how she has to be. how he taught her to be.

It's just a big mess. I hate age. I wish they could be the happy, articulate capable people they once were. They are so confused and lost now. and its sad and its frusterating, because i know that they are miserable. because my grandpa lets everyone know that they are miserale. that's something he's taught me about alcoholics. too honest.

anyways. my mom is gald i'll be home to help her, and i am too. i know she couldn't do it alone. i just hope my grandparents aren't in as bad of shape as they seem, maybe they were just having bad days, who knows. they are both so smart and so funny, bleh.

I just don't want them to totally lose their independance. because no person should have to feel like a helpless child.