because lately, the only thing i've wanted to do is dance. i'm not sure why. but any time i can steal away to be alone; i dance, and every bar we go to i force anyone im with to dance till we leave, and i'm sure they are starting to get sick of it.

i am not very good at many things naturally. i'm rather uncoordinated. but for whatever reasons, im naturally a pretty good dancer. it surprises people. including me.

I guess i never took the ballet lessons because i saw them as too "girlie." and for whatever reasons, the idea of a tutu and pink tights embarassed me. and. in my mind being too girlie was always a bad thing. i guess its because i grew up with brothers?

i've always felt that i leaned towards more to the tom boy side. but lately i've been able to appreciate purely female things and really bad whiney songs. that i'm sure guys like too, but i can admit it openly, have it on my ipod, and even play them when other people are in the car. (well only SOME people in the car.)

Also. after some revealing conversations with my mother, i realize i have a relationship that neither my brothers nor my dad can have with her. simply because we share not only blood, but also the fact we have uterus's.

no, seriously. its allowed her to tell me things she never would otherwise, its put things into persepective and really gives me a sense of who she is/was.

and that life never goes to plan.

i don't know why but i'm always desperate for a glimpse into my parent's life before/despite/without us.

it fascinates me because they've protected it so well.