if he finds a girl attractive, or more often if i find him finding a girl attractive, instead of just admitting that she is pretty or whatever it is he's staring at, he'll just start talking shit. he even does this to freinds, co-workers, ex girlfriends.

now. how dumb does he think i am? does he talk down the way they look and their flaws to try and make me feel better? or to make him feel better? i guess a bit of both.

but even if i don't say anything he'll do it. and he automatically has a big hostility towards pretty girls, saying he's sure their stuck up, and bitches, and goes on for about an hour. i don't know if its insecurity from being rejected by females too many times or what. but he's a really attractive guy, so i'm a bit confused on that one.

anyways. this causes me worry because one, sometimes it gets a bit out of hand and semi-offensive. and two, he's like a preschool kid. he'll talk more shit on the girls he finds most attractive/likes the most.

so when he starts talking shit about his co-worker he had previously called a "pretty blonde girl" it makes me uncomfortable. and with that girl, things go a whole lot further, but thats for another time.

so anyways, he's going off about how his ex who is a huge fucking thorn in our relationship (for a lot of good warranted reasons) always had really bad acne and no ass. so as he's going off about this, all i can infer is, he's been thinking about her (as always) and secondly it made me wonder, what he's going to be saying about me one day to his next girlfriend about what he hates about me. but really, i'm pretty sure i've already figured it out.

first he'd say i have no ass. then he'd say what he always says. that the girl isn't really that pretty and then give the reason. for me he would say "her face wasn't even that pretty, she was just really good at the way she did her make up."

& i knows he feels that way, because usually when i'm not wearing make-up, he'll barely look at me. and the way i do my make up is one of the few things on my facial looks he actual compliments.

i admit make-up does alot for me. i have bad skin and my eyes look entirely different (in a good way) with eyeliner on. oh well.

by the end of this im pretty sure my self esteem won't even be on the floor, it will be underground.