even as a child i guess i knew there was probably nothing out there i would love to spend the next 30 years of my life doing. then again, i don't love school, and i've been doing that most of my life.

eventually i just started making up answers. i distinctly remember telling my first grade teacher i wanted to be a mailwoman. she said that was great, and they have to be out in rain, shine, sleet or snow. which made me hate the idea even more.

and now i'm 24 and i feel like i'm doing the same exact thing. i'm just shouting out professions and majors, because i'm out of time to decide and i just have to choose.

and i if i'm cornered than i choose nursing because even though it has its downsides, it has alot of upsides that i can see making me happy that i do THAT for my career. to spend my time and energy in truly helping people and not sitting at a desk all. it offers job security and an ability to study the body and health which is a slight infatuation of mine being a mild hypochondriac. I also like that it has so many options. I can be any kind of nurse i want, and i love that. just because you are a nurse, you're not stuck doing ONE thing. You have options and choices and places to go, and if you don't like one thing you can try another, while still using the same education and experience you've already gained. Not to mention once you have experience, you can get a job pretty much anywhere. Even in other countries. I can do what i've always wanted to do. go to foreign and third world countries and help people, like really help people.

and how awesome is that?

then again, i had a big FBI epiphany 2 months ago, and decided it was the perfect job. that fell off, just because it did. because i cant make up my fucking mind. but nursing has always been in the back of my mind and something i was really interested in.

at the same time there's two major things holding me back.
1. Blood guts and bodily fluids in general. I realize this is just a part of the job. While i get grossed out aas much as the next person (maybe a TAD more,) I heard that you get used to gross faster than you could imagine. I really think i could too, but this scares me.

2. School. It would be ALOT more school. ideally i would start with a clean slate, because getting into a good nursing school is super competitive and my grades right now wouldn't cut it. I've also read that hospitals are starting to require a BSN in nursing, so that'd be another 4 years? and the idea of that just makes my skin crawl.

I'm just going to finish out this stupid marketing degree and if i still feel the same way towards nursing as i do now then i'm just going to go for it.