eventually the boys came in and caught up with us to play beer pong. everybody was exhausted and ready to pass out around 12am. I guess we really are showing our age these days.

i'm also coming down with some nasty cold flu thing. i feel like absolute shit. i tried going to another friend's bbq sunday, but had to go home early because i was just way too sick. also, some guy there was on some kind of drug and freaking everyone out.

dan asked if i was just going to home or going to spend time with him. i said i wanted to stay with him, which he clearly wasn't expecting or hoping for since he had already started planning time with the guys through texts. but i was feeling sick and wanted comforting.

its funny because if it was two months of ago he would have begged me to stay. but now 2 days is about our limit around each other. if not less. its like when you are so smitten with someone you are willing to put up and even like things you usually wouldn't.

we are way past that point.

i hate his apartment. it smells funny, his roommates are constantly "cooking" aka burning food making it hard to breathe and making the entire place smell even worse. its tiny, his bed is so uncomfortable i can't sleep, and when were there he makes no effort to do anything but sit and play games or have sex.

despite that i still insisted on coming over and watching glee, i simply didn't have the energy to stay at the bbq socialize but wanted to just relax and cuddle. Glee is one of the few things we can agree on. i was feeling like shit but he was constantly pestering me for sex so it turned into a fight. he was still peeved at me afterward and started yelling at me for being messy. which lead to an even bigger fight.

we went to bed not talking, and woke up with it being awkward as hell. Decided to leave and get some medicine. we used to spend every waking moment together, now it seems like were just dying to get to our respective homes to start doing whatever we really want to be doing.

i don't know. its boring and repetitive and there's not a lot to talk about and if we do talk we are generally fighting. i can't imagine life without him but at this point we are barely even spending time with each other. i don't even know if we want to be or if its just out of habit.