so much so i burst into tears randomly while helping a customer. he asked how i was casually, the way we all ask when we don't really care and i tried to choke out a good but i couldn't. the words got caught in my throat and my face got red and all i could think was "oh god no please not now." but there was no stopping it. and i just began sobbing. in front of everyone. may as well name me niagra.

it was pathetic and dramatic. and i think i genuinely scared the shit out of my customer.

all my co workers tried to mercifully ignore the out burst as best as they could. luckily the customer was really understanding and as awkward as it was i think he was genuinely sympathetic to his overly emotional teller. probably wishing to god he had just used the ATM that day.

i was just so upset because i thought it would be another semester until i graduated. simply because they changed a rule without telling me, or any other students. and because this same marketing class i have been trying to add forever is still fucking full. because they only offer 2 a year. and those things put togehter are just unfair, and worst of all out of my control.

and its not only that. my financial aid runs out after this. i had allready told my parents i was graduating and my dad is expecting me out. its like OH BY THE WAY JUST KIDDING...AGAIN.

I guess i can take one of the classes in summer. (the one they changed the rule about.) and the marketing class, well who knows whats going to happen.

but after publicly humiliating myself, i decided theres no reason to continue to be upset about it. because that upsets me more. i guess i'm just going for a record of years in college. im like van wilder. without the fun. or the choice. and have to work full time. and am prone to emotional outbursts at any time if you stand too close.

ok so. I'm like a really lame van wilder. or not like him at all. really.