anyways, after i finish my last class i am moving into the townhouse with dan. it's supposed to be really exciting, and talking about decorating our room etc, just became an argument. I honestly got pretty depressed about it. every move in college was always so full of excitement and ideas. I mean honestly i would spend every summer looking forward to that day. we were just so happy to see eachother again, and to be in a new place. we would spend hours discussing our plans for the year and our rooms. we would then venture out to target and make our dreams as real as possible on the meager amounts of money we had. and we always did a good job. then we would all celebrate by going out for drinks and dancing. i was just kind of left wishing dan was a girl/ one of my girlfriends. in reality, i think i'm just lonely. I have no close girlfriends around here and after 3 years it gets kind of hard feeling pretty isolated.

I went to living with the friends i felt closest to in my whole life to moving back home where even my high school friends weren't anymore. I don't know why its been so hard for me to make friends, maybe because i don't have much of a platform to make any. as much as i love dan he is not enough.