while the info had been slow getting to family, its momentum can not be stopped on the friends front. it seemed like everyone knew within a day or less, and everybody had something to say about it and a side to take. people have been getting really involved and it has been stresfull.

all of Dan's friends say they "don't understand." (aka, "jen is a giant bitch.") well, i don't really give a fuck. it wasn't your relationship, was it? all i care is that dan understands. I guess friendly breakups are a pretty foreign concept, and I'm wondering exactly how long its going to stay friendly, but for now we've managed.

I got through 2 weeks without contacting him. He had a few days of constant calling and talking, left me alone and then we had a huge fight two saturdays ago. that was pretty much the end. and then this friday i had to drink too much at the bar and needed a ride. (not like i got sloppy drunk, but cops swarm the bars and I get guaranteed to be pulled over at least 1/4 of the time.) so i did the only thing i could do, and that was call dan. i'm an idiot and we slept together and now shit has been weird and i feel empty and i miss him. and it just made it so much harder on both of us. well on me. and im assuming on his side too.

i dont know. im a fucking idiot. i wish that never happened. but it did.