of course I am sad because there are so many things that happened that I won't remeber, have probably already forgotten. so i'll write some down now at least, incase i would forget them too, somehow i doubt it though.

- my first weekend with the girls and my roommates in barca. we went to some huge club and stayed out till 7am, i was totally blown away by how late we stayed out, if only i knew of the things to come haha.

-exploring the city with ann and jack. thats the only really serious serious sight seeing i've done in barca. and that first night with ann. we danced until 5am sober, she had just gotten off an airplane, and we tried and failed to talk to cute guys in spanish, after that we were bonded for life.

- meeting tom and all his friends. these were my favorites time in barca. especially the second weekend when they all got kicked out of their apartment. all the times after that with this group were so fun and they were all so close and genuinely loved eachother. i wish i had met them earlier. that is my main feeling whenever i meet anyone in bcn usually.

- all those nights drinking on the street and the steps of churches with them. i prefer these over all the clubbing nights. i miss those days. why don't we do this anymore?

-walking home the next day after they all got kicked out from the bar. there was a freak rain storm (much like the one now) and crazy lightening and thunder and all 4 of us watched it from our flat, and we laughed at tom and pretended we didn't see the lightening every time he pointed it out.

-being at the beach with those guys and drinking beers right after work. fucking around and being happy on the beach everyday and thinking this is my life!

-when sar came. what a relief and blessing. walking all the way home at 8am from some club or another talking about absolutely everything as the sun was rising over plaza espanya.

-nick and beck. i was always drawn to nick from the first time i met her. such a loving inclusive personality. one of my favorite nights was when we were supposed to go out to this club, but we didn't for some reason, just got too lazy. sar had to go somewhere, so she left. beck nick and i just talked for hours and hours and hours and smoked and drank and i had always felt like a bit of an outsider but at the moment it felt like family.

- all of our trips.

-just dancing like a nutcase with sv in our apartments, and in marcos apartment. and everywhere else.

-being on the beach with marco and him telling me about his mom and how he spent one hour with her every day for a month teaching her to use a computer, and now his mom fbook stalks him and is more comp savvy than him. she still likes alot of our pics on fbook, and it always cracks me up.

-the day my new roomies and i started drinking at like 2pm, whiskey and coffee, then we drank brazilian drinks and had a 5 hour long dance party. learned how to salsa and flamenco and rapped in spanish. then we went out to a club and we were too early because its spain. so we went adn got some of the best roast chicken i've ever had, and went back and marco met us there.

- that time in razz with sar tom and mike and the vicks vapor rub.

- the time at apollo with marco and all his spanish friends.

-when tom and i ran into abe on the street and in the absinthe bar and we spoke spanish all night.

- nicks last night when we all sat in our flat speaking spanish for hours.

-that night at m del mar. actually a few nights there. those were good times. really good times.

- that night we started drinking on the streets, then we went to a shot bar, then moog, then went skinny dipping in the mediterranean till 10am.

see this is so few of the things i wanted to remember. too hard to try and remember them all at once i guess.

i dont know this is not making me feel any better, only sadder. most of these people are gone anyways. if i stayed it wouldn't be the same...

so maybe its better. who knows.