But at the same time I�m still a little kid at heart. I�I still for some reason hope that such things could be true. And believe that if I tried really hard that could be. But there�s always the fact that things change, people go in and out of your life and you know what? Its out of your fucking control. One way or another, somehow, at some point it is. Not at all points, and many things I have fucked up, -are- my fault. But sometimes it�s a fact of life, you must lose things in life to gain them�or something like that.

So yeah, in an ideal world I�d have all the good from the past, plus all the good from present. And yes I know that much of it was in my control because� Today will be tomorrow�s yesterday, so in a sense, at sometime -I guess it is all in your hands. It all slipped through my hands somehow. But didn�t someone say that friendship is like a handful of sand? The tighter you clench it, the faster it slips through your fingers? But at the same time, there�s this little pesky condition of being human. Of naturally fucking up.

Do I wish I would have handled things differently? Yes and no. Yes, because I miss the fun I had, and the way everything was�No. Because I couldn�t give up what I have now, and how truly wonderful it is.

So yeah, I enjoy the here and now, to its full extent and all that I can, but reminiscing every once in a while isn�t so bad either.

Just don�t get stuck in the past I guess? and waste your present, cuz then youll be standing in the future, still wondering and reminiscing, where the hell did yesterday go?