i was on the free way and a black SUV was about to merge into my car, so i panicked and instead of honking like i probably should have, i swerved into the next lane, into a semi truck.

i hit the truck part, and the actual contact couldn't have been more than 3 seconds. but my car was almost totatalled, my door was bent in towards me, and yeah. i came out okay and so did the semi driver. and i realize how lucky i am.

now, people changing lanes really freaks me out, i'm always worried if they can see me or not, but its not that big of a deal.

but. ever since i got my car back a few days ago, i keep having these images of me in my head, of getting in a huge collision. like the whole front end of my car scunching up, just like in all the crash test videos. and of course, me inside screaming or dying or both.

but really the most vivid part of it all, is that metal on metal feeling. just like when i hit the semi.

and its making me not want to drive far distances.. my mom said no matter what- i can't let it change my behaviorus, because if i do then it really has had an effect on me. & i wont let it. & i won't become like my aunt who absolutely refuses to drive on free ways because she gets panic attacks because she cant just face her fear. i know that wont happen to me but still..

i just can't shake that feeling. the metal on metal. it gives me chills.