When will this (my) foolishness stop?

soon i think. i think i've reached my breaking point.

simply because i have nothing left.

except for a new lie, your last present to me.

Though i feel cheated, you didn't even put enough effort in to make it a good one.

My stomach is in knots. and i just want them to stop. and i want me to stop. and fuck. just grow some balls and tell me the truth. tell me anything. even that you hate me and im annoying and clingy. just let me know why you are doing this, thats all i really ask. any answer will do, as long as it is real and true and i sware whatever you give me i will find solace in because i need that. i need that last slap in the face to finally be able to let go. just rip my fingers from my hold and i will be free and so will you and it would all be so much easier.

and hopefully, you will be happier.

just...let my stomach rest. and let me grab some air. sick of losing my breath every time you are around and i'm sick of my stomach clenching and i'm sick of not wanting to do anything but sleep. sleeping till my head hurts and avoiding all else. like work and school. and i'm sick of what you do to me and i hate the fact that i gave you that power. I don't know when i did.

it wasn't that good to begin with. maybe i've made it into something better, because you are denying me of it.

let go let go let go let go.

just push me a bit further and i will be able to do it. god damnit.