i keep losing him in my dreams. last week i dreamed he cheated on me, and said he always would. i was reduce to a blubbering mess and locked myself into my room, people tried to lure me out so i'd eat. while this was happening random dream crap was also happening on the side like flying shoes, because dreams are freaky like that.

and then last night i dreamed a guy i didn't even really know was getting married to a rather overweight woman. the guy said he wanted to be with me instead, i just had to break the news to his bride-to-be. but there was nothing we could do it was the day before the wedding and i wasn't quiet sure why i loved this guy so much or why i couldn't see him go. and i felt bad for the girl he was about to marry, i can't do that to her! i kept shouting. and started sobbing because i wanted to be with him so much.

i woke up crying. i haven't done that since i was six. it was only when i woke up i realized the guy getting married was the bf.

that happens to me alot though. when i dream about him i don't realize its him, i only recognize the feeling of comfort and love he gives me once i've woken up.