after having a huge panic that i had to change my life asap and i wasn't going to make it any longer, the waiting and saving and working and killing (wasting) time. almost lost it.
but then i realized, i'm just low on serotonin. this has happened before, many times. (don't do drugs, kids.)
I need that to be the reason, so i know i will wake up in a few days and everything will be endurable again.