didn't go to work. or even pack for my move even though i technically was supposed to be moved in last night. didn't even buy a bed. or help k with her things.

i just want to read and read and escape until my eyes bleed.

so i did. all day. that's it.

i don't know whats wrong with me. i get like this sometimes. and last night i thought i was dying when i was in that weird place between awake and sleep. where you are just starting to dream. i was having weird chest pains and then as i was falling asleep i was jolting awake full of adrenaline. i was convinced i was dying, but was too tired to get up and get a doctor or do anything about. each time i jolted awake i had a crazy panic attack. this went on for hours, i barely slept. i don't know if the pain was real or if i dreamed it. i think it was really just the all around back & everywhere pain i woke up with, left over from sleeping on a couch the night before. why i thought i was dying, im not quiet sure just crazy dreams.

i think k is mad that im not at the apartment celebrating the move, or even moved in. idk whats wrong with me. fuck. i'm just so tired. i don't want to do anything, ever.